So there is this book out by some really narrow minded woman called "The Surrenedered Wife" that basically says that women should be subservient to their husbands, letting him make all the decisions in a marriage. Basically, that the woman's life should revolve around that of making her husband happy etc, and thats the way to have a happy marriage. Have any of you guys heard of this yet? Its highly controversial. Lots of people are talking about it. And you know, I am interested in seeing what else this chick says, but I wouldn't want to support her by buying her book you know? I'm especially interested to see what our Marriage conselor major Paigis thinks about this.

On another note...

I came back to my place and was about to make peanut butter toast when I'd found to my horror that we've no more peanut butter! Why you ask? Because my roomate's friend *hates* peanut butter and decided to dump ours out as well! I mean, hell! As if not liking peanut butter is so Un-American as it is! That pinko had to go and throw ours out as well! And my roomate let her! That was MY Jiff! Damnit! Just...just.... damnit!

By Karla on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 05:52 am:

LOL

By Shifty on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 12:29 pm:

I smirk to admit I read this book. My ex-girlfriend had it, and it's quite a laugh. The surrendered wife .... she has to do everything you tell her in order to keep harmony .... I think there is 2 hopes ..... Bob hope and No hope .

By somone on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 02:06 pm:

I saw a bit of a ducumentary about two women who were experimenting with that way of living, surrendering themselves to their husbands. I can tell you that both of them were miserable. I can't believe anything good will ever come of it.

And thanks for revealing the true reason why Jiff is now Ciff.

Lukas

By nat on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 08:37 pm:

is it like a more radical "rules"-ish kinda thing? oh well...

By Paige on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 09:33 pm:

Oh my god I could write a novel. I wrote a 13 page paper on this fall semester.

First of all, the fact that the book is not necessarily based around the principle that you do all of this for the sake of getting along etc, but rather for reasons of self-interest. And basically, she says that men are stupid, yet better than women, and that women, being smarter but unable to make it on their own in a man's world should learn to manipulate men to get what they want. I have a huge problem with this of course. First and foremost because I don't think men are stupid. The next being, that girls have been taught for centuries to manipulate men in order to get what they want because they were unable to support themselves and therefore, had to in order to get what they wanted out of life. Going back to this outdated way of thinking sickens me and totally nullifies anything progress made by feminist movement.

Some of her points would be good points as far as how to keep a marriage good if she said that it had to apply to both husband and wife. For example, keeping up one's looks etc. Also, choosing one's battles. Fine, but that should be held to the male in the relationship as well as the female. etc.

As far as choosing one's battles, she basically says you shouldn't battle at all. I totally disagree. If you don't fight, it means you don't care. If you don't care, why are you married to that person?

At another point, she says that the wife should make her husband feel like her number one priority in life. And that if you have children, that you should still make him feel he's the most important. Gag me. Your first priority should be your children. If your kids and significant other were caught in front of a train and you only had time to save one or the other, you save your kids damnit.

Whats more, there is something wrong with a guy if he needs to feel like the number one priority in his wife's life, especially if they have children.

The part that REALLY irks me about all of this though is that there are women out there desperate to save their marriages and will try ANYTHING to save it, and instead of seeking professional help they're turning to this woman with no psychological background or expertise in any shape or form for answers. This is abosolutely not the way to go. obviously. Chances are that unless they're a complete idiotic doormat, they're going to be miserable, and the marriage no better than before. Just different. You'd end up resenting your husband for ruling your life. And yourself for letting it happen. And as the great Lana Holstein said, "You can't make love to someone you hate."

I can only come up with one good use for this book. Guys: If you want to get rid of your girlfriend but can't work up the guts to dump her, give this book to her as a gift for her birthday, valentines or christmas or something and tell them they could learn a lot. Chances are she'll dump you in record time.

By Kenzie on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 04:06 am:

My god Paige, do you ever shut up? lol. ;)

By indigo on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 08:29 am:

good points paige - although you may have too much free time.

By Butter~Twirrélistica on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 10:35 am:

Gah, shaddup. She's just demonstrating a brain.

By Shifty on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 04:20 pm:

I can demonstate a brian in less time
4 x 6 = 24

By nat on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 08:54 pm:

wow, shifty, i'm so impressed, as i'm sure we all are...

By Paige on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 09:40 pm:

lol... sorry. I do have too much free time. I'm stuck in bed for a week for god's sake!

By indigo on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 09:03 am:

ahhh. Well, at least you're using your time constructively. Once again, I am on Coping when i should be revising.

By Billy Pumpsquirt on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 03:06 am:

Where were the other steaming piles of BS?

By Shifty on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 02:38 pm:

When I was stuck in bed with lot's of free time , I did loads and loads of , erm . reading

By Paige on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 09:45 pm:

Me thinks you may be standing in one of those steaming piles Billy. Check your shoes.

By Skrooie on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 11:19 pm:

Reading, or looking at pictures ?

By Nat on Saturday, June 16, 2001 - 01:41 am:

sly boy ...

By gfi on Saturday, June 16, 2001 - 05:30 am:

There r no rules for a marriage to work I think, each couple has a different experience... The most important thing to me is respect and love for each other...

By Paige on Saturday, June 16, 2001 - 05:32 pm:

Not so much rules as guidelines. However, there are different types of marriages all together. Ranging between 1 and 3 dimensions. 1 being like, marriages of convienience, where there isn't really love, just self-interest, 2 being the marriages that most people have, and 3 being the one everyone wishes they had. There are definetly guidelines for a 3 dimensional marriage. Make no mistake.

By Butter~Twirré on Sunday, June 17, 2001 - 01:27 am:

I think some marriages might, if they're lucky, be a sort of amalgamation of all three of those dimensions, Paige. That's putting it a bit simplistically, I know.

Sorry, I'm a little too drunk & maudlin to pursue this. You can be honest & tell me if it sounds like bollocks.

By Kenzie on Sunday, June 17, 2001 - 03:56 am:

She means its all that and more from one dimension upwards Ana.

By Butter~Twirré on Sunday, June 17, 2001 - 10:09 am:

Ooops, yes, sorry Kenzie. Now that I look at it when sober it's quite clear.

There was a thing on '60 Minutes' about that 'Surrended Wife' book a couple of weeks back. It was just too laughable to believe anyone could take the author seriously. There were 'surrended' wives who were proudly saying they wouldn't even correct their husband if he was driving them in the completely wrong direction. I know this sounds clichéd, but that isn't love. If I was a man, and my wife just gave me totally blind, subjective 'support', no matter how much I needed a little constructive criticism (ADVICE, even)... well, I feel the marriage itself would be extremely dull, aside from everything else.

By Paige on Sunday, June 17, 2001 - 03:08 pm:

Extremely dull, yes. Whats more, a lot of times its your significant other has to be the one to tell you what everyone else is thinking.. (ie, you're making an ass out of yourself) etc. And if you KNOW it, and don't do anything about such things, how embarassing for you both.