I don't think I can stomach this question.

By cazza on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 06:50 pm:

good question...
damn, now I have to think about it until I find the answer...
bigger or smaller..
bigger or smaller

By porcelainfuckingoceans on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 07:08 pm:

You'd get smaller of course.

By R~S~P on Saturday, August 26, 2000 - 01:25 am:

I had a hamster that ate itself. All its insides fell out. I cried.

By Eddy on Saturday, August 26, 2000 - 03:35 pm:

How and why did it do that??

By cazza on Saturday, August 26, 2000 - 05:42 pm:

oh my god Chris. how terrible [I hope it enjoyed itself].
I had a hamster to. we had to take it to a vet and kill it cos it was ill. I cried too.

By R~S~P on Saturday, August 26, 2000 - 07:56 pm:

It took a vet to kill a hamster? Don't you own a hammer? Or a shovel?

By porcelainfuckingoceans on Sunday, August 27, 2000 - 12:57 pm:

Aww. I wouldn't kill anything with a hammer. A knife maybe. Or just a gun.

By Out Of Order on Sunday, August 27, 2000 - 02:04 pm:

What an interesting conversation. I owned a gimp once and he like to eat himself!!!!

By R~S~P on Sunday, August 27, 2000 - 03:29 pm:

You might mess up with a knife, and hurt it more. A hammer is straight forward and to the point. Wrap it in something first though, or it'll make a mess. Or drop a paving slab on it. That'd be better than a hammer.

By tam on Sunday, August 27, 2000 - 04:01 pm:

disgusting question

By cazza on Sunday, August 27, 2000 - 07:54 pm:

look, I was about 10 years old or somethig and if my dad/mum would have killed my lil cute hamster with a HAMMER i'd never forget them lol.
yeah, um, shoot s hamster with a gun.. I'd like to see that *lhfao*

By R~S~P on Sunday, August 27, 2000 - 09:08 pm:

You could throw it in the air and see how many times you could shoot it before it came down. Or whack it with a baseball bat.

By chut on Monday, August 28, 2000 - 12:25 am:

Hold on. Did the insides fall out, then it ate itself? I saw a stork thing get eaten alive by pirhanas (on tv) the other day. Which was unpleasant. However, I also saw a field mouse, at least I think that's what it was, when I was out walking :o)

By Sammie the self professed idiot/genius on Monday, August 28, 2000 - 02:54 am:

if the hamster ate itself and the insides fell out....what was left to eat the insides of the self eaten hamster? Shall i attempt to justify that question with mathematics? I think not...because i failed math. a self eaten thing-be it human or hamster- would obviously remain the same....neither bigger or smaller. if what we have found out here is true- that your insides fall out- then, the velocity of our insides would be about the same, or equivalent to, the velocity of our outsides before we ate ourselves. Therefore, the question is misleading.

By Carly on Tuesday, August 29, 2000 - 01:02 am:

Sammie.... that was reminding me of that monty python sketch.... the one with idle as that scottish dude. 'and i'd like to conclude by sticking my finger up my nose'...... hahahahaha....... d'y'all want me to jsutify it mathematically? i bloody hope not.... it could be the most long winded, obvious and repititios thing you're likely to see written in your life.

By Sammie the self professed idiot/genius who cannot spell repetitious but did just then on Tuesday, August 29, 2000 - 02:35 am:

well...ya see, i put alot of thought into the above satement can't ya just tell? anyway, i have written it down incase it comes in handy as a link or something. and yes, please, don't try and justify it matematically dear. it would be repeatitios.........

ta ta for now.

PS> i now will commission someone to ask me another baffling question such as the hamster one.

By Carly on Tuesday, August 29, 2000 - 02:44 am:

thank God for spell check on coping, huh? :þ

By LS on Tuesday, August 29, 2000 - 06:20 pm:

bigger or smaller, good question..

I'll think about it when I've figured out if the glas is half empty or half filled

By R~S~P on Tuesday, August 29, 2000 - 10:13 pm:

Who cares how full it is? I ordered a cheeseburger!

By Eddy on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 02:24 pm:

The answer to that one is:

The glass is half full when you are putting stuff into it.

The glass is half empty when you are taking stuff out of it.

By th jgglr on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 02:39 pm:

A true story:

Once my brother bought himself 3 mice and put them in an big ond fish tank. Which was empty. No, a bit of sawdust. Any way.
One was a male and the other two were famale. We had a bit of fun watching them mate (we were 13 i think) and was pleased when we had lots of little mice in there.
Then we went on holiday for anout 5 weeks and a friend of ours came in and fed them.

When we got back we found that the fishtank (which was about 2 foot by 1 by 1) was over half full of mice. Just mice. They had bred until there was no floor space and then until there was no breathing space. We shoveled them out and tipped a few buckets of them into an old stable up the road but we dropped one of the buckets while carrying it through the house.

We decided not to call out pest control but put some traps dow. We soon realised that they weren't getting the numbers down so my dad came up with all sorts of traps and killing machines like straight out of a tom and jerry episode. Or maybe Itchy and Scratchy.

In the end after airguns, darts, paving slabs (no, honestly), piano wire, boots, slight of hand, and many other things we put some poison down and didn't see any after that.

I must say in hindsight it sounds quiet amusing but pretty gross. It was.

By Eddy on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 02:59 pm:

hahahaha, nice story.

By LS on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 05:57 pm:

cheesburger?

don't say that out loud..

the peace luvin vegetarians will kill ya!

By R~S~P on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 07:55 pm:

CHEESEBURGER! Made out of little fluffy moo-cows who have never done anything but run around going moo! What have they done to deserve it? Nothing! It's all to satisfy my lust for delicious roast flesh.

How's that, Cissi?

By Carly on Thursday, August 31, 2000 - 04:47 am:

cows are fluffy?

By cazza on Thursday, August 31, 2000 - 12:24 pm:

you never know with me (hehe) I might go and kill ya. what would you prefer to get killed with?

I have this weird thought; I'd like to kill someone by kicking him in the face (he should be lying on the floor) and then take a hammer and throw it in the face on him. and it would be blood everywhere.
and of course my victim would be a meat-eating bastard.

and this is just one of many ways to kill someone with... why not cut someone with a razor blade all over the body and then pour salt where he've been cut?
pretty good idea...

any other suggestions cissi?

By local scapegoat on Thursday, August 31, 2000 - 12:27 pm:

I agree with you whole-heartedly on this matter..

which really isn't good 'cause I can never think of something clever to say when I agree..

(which probably is the reason why I usually disagree with everyone...)

well, btw, I'll be preparing your grave..

is that a shot gun, cazza?

By cazza on Thursday, August 31, 2000 - 12:27 pm:

I really mean it. blood EVERYWHERE!

By porcelainfluffyoceans on Thursday, August 31, 2000 - 12:28 pm:

Hear me roar! I'm a fluffy cow!

By local scapegoat on Thursday, August 31, 2000 - 12:29 pm:

oh.. scary chick...

you wouldn't have the guts too.. I'm a walking example of that...

By cazza on Thursday, August 31, 2000 - 12:31 pm:

hmm... since when does cows roar?
I thought they said MOOOO?
*hehe*

watch out Maddy - Chris or Cissi might want to kill you and eat you. or why don't swalow you alive?

ok ok. I'm tired. let's go home... I WANT CANDY!

By porcelainfuckingoceans on Thursday, August 31, 2000 - 12:34 pm:

Clever girl.

By R~S~P on Thursday, August 31, 2000 - 03:56 pm:

Fluffy? Roar? Sorry, I got confused with lions, and not for the first time. Crikey, the trouble we had last time I did that....

By porcelainfuckingoceans on Thursday, August 31, 2000 - 05:03 pm:

I'm a roaring cow. Apparently.

By local_scapegoat on Thursday, August 31, 2000 - 05:50 pm:

that's funny.. was just thinking you look like one..

By cazza on Thursday, August 31, 2000 - 06:26 pm:

no, Maddy. your not a roaring cow. your a cat!
[smiling]

By cazza on Friday, September 1, 2000 - 08:40 pm:

goodnight all.

By R~S~P on Friday, September 1, 2000 - 11:38 pm:

Maddy, did you get that goddamn letter yet? Or do I have to shout at Post-office Brenda again?

By porcelainoceans on Saturday, September 2, 2000 - 01:55 pm:

It looks like you have to shout at that silly bitch again.

By Out Of Order on Sunday, September 3, 2000 - 11:43 am:

Brenda Brenda Brenda,
Kill her and mash her up
by putting her in a
BLENDA!

By R~S~P on Sunday, September 3, 2000 - 06:32 pm:

I plan to rip off her head and drink her blood in the style of a bigfoot.

By caramel on Monday, September 4, 2000 - 01:01 pm:

I have the answer kids....
If you eat yourself you will not become either bigger or smaller. You will become very sick!

Your body will react to your muscle tissue just as it reacts to any type of meat that you eat, except that your stomach will have to work harder to digest your muscle as it is not used to accepting similar product.
As your stomach is used to digesting forein matter and has the accumulated chemicals to do so,it basically gets a shock if you digest a part of yourself!
Take care.......and please don't try to do this!

By indigo on Monday, September 4, 2000 - 05:10 pm:

OK, this has turned into the psycho thread. i think we're all learning some disturbing things....

BTW, if you reject stuff from your own body, how come you can chew your nails, hair etc?

By local scapegoat on Monday, September 4, 2000 - 09:47 pm:

oh..gee..thanx caramel..

and I who was so hungry... now who am I going to eat?

By Johno on Monday, September 4, 2000 - 09:48 pm:

I have been onto this topic all day and I have found it very difficult to break down. I should, however after 6 months of solid hard work be able to produce a solid report on my findings.
Thankyou sir

By R~S~P on Tuesday, September 5, 2000 - 12:47 am:

Nails tend to pass straight through you, and aren't absorbed. Hair gets stuck in your stomach, and as humans can't cough up hairballs, some folk have to have them surgically removed cos they get too big. Not nice.

It is true that a lot of people who eat human flesh (Yes, I read a book about cannibalism. Problem?) develop stomach ulcers because the stomach acid produced to break down the human flesh then begins to eat through the stomach wall. Also not nice, but that's what you get for eating folk....

By Carly on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 12:50 am:

Horace Poem
by not me

Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay
Horace ate himself one day.
He didn't stop to say his grace,
He just sat down and ate his face.
"We can't have this!" his Dad declared,
"If that lad's ate, he should be shared."
But even as he spoke they saw
Horace eating more and more:
First his legs and then his thighs,
His arms, his nose, his hair, his eyes...
"Stop him someone!" Mother cried
"Those eyeballs would be better friedd!"
But all too late, for they were gone,
And he had started on his dong...
"Oh! foolish child!" the father mourns
"You could have deep-fried that with prawns,
Some parsley and some tartar sauce..."
But H. was on his second course:
His liver and his lights and lung,
His ears, his neck, his chin, his tongue;
"To think I raised him from the cot
And now he's going to scoff the lot!"
His Mother cried: "What shall we do?
What's left won't even make a stew..."
And as she wept, her son was seen
To eat his head, his heart, his spleen.
And there he lay: a boy no more,
Just a stomach on the floor...
None the less, since it *was* his
They ate it - that's what haggis is.


I really can't take credit for this.... tho i would like to..... it's by Monty Python....

By th on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 07:28 pm:

My dad used to run holidays for kids to do things like kayaking and climbling and stuff. He used to tell a story to scare the kids about a kid who came on one these holidays and he sucked his thumb. He sucked it so much that he accidently sucked in the whole of his arm, then his legs then his other arm then rest rest of his body until there was just his head left.

My dad also told stories about how he once threw a kid at some railings so hard he came out the other side as chips and had to be taken to the hospital to be stitched back together, and other stories about kayaks being bent in half with childrens inside them and trains being flipped over because someone threw an apple at him out the window.

All the kids would sit there in horror and awe at my dad, believing every word... Thinking back now, I don't think my dad should have been allowed to be responsible for 60 7-10 year olds for a whole weekend. Ah well. I've got no psychological scars to show for it....

Luke

Now, where's my little brother, I could do with a snack...

By BIG BRETT on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 10:53 pm:

I ATE MYSELF SEVERAL TIMES AND NOW I AM 6 FEET 4 AND A HALF PUSHING 6 FEET 5! IF I EAT MYSELF AGAIN I SHOULD MAKE 6 FEET 5. I USED TO BE ONLY 5 FOOT 5 BEFORE I STARTED EATING MYSELF DONT YOU KNOW? WHERE SHOULD I BEGIN?
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN PERSONAL ANYWAY!? ONLY FUCKING GEEKS GO IN HERE!

By Dave Hedgehog on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 02:46 am:

It doesn't work with me

By mental sick Cazza™ on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 11:47 am:

I've never tasted myself.
I think I'll let someone else eat me instead...
because...
1. I'm not a self-destructive cannibal.
2. I don't eat meat.
3. I don't think I'll taste good anyway.
Don't try to eat me while I'm alive though as it won't be a very nice experiance for me. and probably not for anyone of you who tries to either. be prepared that I'll probably kick and scream - hey don't I do that normally?

I'm tired okay??!!!
I promise - this is not what I normally think off.
I think off...bl...no. you don't want to know.

By fake™ on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 03:00 pm:

someone else is suppose to eat to, that's the whole point.. oh.. nevermind

By Eddy on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 04:05 pm:

I think I have to point out the sexual innuendo displayed by Cazza.

I mean, someone "eating" you??

That's just pornographic.

By fake™ on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 08:10 pm:

hmm.. my point exactly..

By fake™ on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 08:12 pm:

but you ruined my fun...

but nevermind cazza, she wouldn't know..

'cause she's "always wanking"..

By indigo on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 08:40 pm:

Hey, do you think veggies (that's vegetarian people, not actually vegetables) taste nicer than us carnivores? Like you get corn-fed chickens? But then they're yellow too, and you don't get veggies turning yellow.
On the pornographic interpretation of eating someone, if a bloke eats kiwi fruit and strawberries, he tastes sweeter (thankyou to Cosmopolitan for this info, not personal experience).

By Scary/sick/deranged/mad/insane Sam on Tuesday, October 3, 2000 - 01:58 pm:

FOR SHOCK VALUE

I drink my own blood.......

oh...and by the way, i like my explanation of the mice better coz it does not rely on scientific fact. and, any way.....

forgot what i was gonna say now

By alferd packer on Tuesday, October 3, 2000 - 03:46 pm:

eating other people is far nicer.... nothing better than a brisk bout of cannibalism to keep you warm in the winter months

By Andy on Tuesday, October 3, 2000 - 10:54 pm:

Good question but these are better...
Which came first,the chicken or the egg?
How can someone have NO parents?
How can someone MAKE love? surely love is a feeling,not something u an make by rubbing sticks together.
How did happy kaelee become a model?
ponder over these buddies im sure they will prove as prodominantly succesfull in arousing your much anticipated opinions.....

By Out Of Order on Wednesday, October 4, 2000 - 07:29 pm:

are they really better though Andy!Ahhhhhhh now think about it a little!

By Barry Norman on Tuesday, March 19, 2002 - 12:03 am:

This is a good topic
one of my favourites

By Quintal on Tuesday, March 19, 2002 - 05:01 pm:

Kewl.

By Androgynous on Tuesday, March 19, 2002 - 05:30 pm:

By sm@sher on Tuesday, March 19, 2002 - 05:47 pm:

omg! talk about 2 lucky blokes heh

By Matt on Tuesday, March 19, 2002 - 10:45 pm:

whats so fuckin special bout that then? its only fuckin normal for 2 members of one of the worlds best ever fuckin bands to get bathed by 2 alright birds, aint that fuckin right?
You fuckin nob
Fuckin top bands tho the mondays, yippie yippie yippie yi yi yay, i had to crucify some fucker today, and i dont dig what you gotta say yay, just come out and say it, yeah!
fuckin top man! Sean rider and Bez r sound lads, nowt fuckin wrong with em man.

By Scamp on Wednesday, March 20, 2002 - 07:39 am:

Wow, imagine getting to sit in a hot tub with gorgeous girls like that one on the far left.

By Stamp on Thursday, March 21, 2002 - 08:25 pm:

Who's God's mother?

By Quintal on Friday, March 22, 2002 - 03:07 am:

I asked a Christian that once... They just smiled and gave me a cup of cordial.

By Stamp on Friday, March 22, 2002 - 06:09 am:

Righto.

By Shifty on Friday, March 22, 2002 - 10:35 am:

I asked the same question , I was told that our brain cannot conceive the idea that God has no beginning and no end ... thus was always there and always will be ... requiring no mother ...
It's just inconceiveable!

By Surya on Friday, March 22, 2002 - 08:20 pm:

I always figured that the ultimate answer to that was just to accept the fact that we can't "conceive" Him. People have tried throughout history, they called Him Yaveh, Brahmin, Krsna...... Trying to grasp what is "ungraspable".

But what I can't concieve is the idea that a God that created us and everything around us without clearly showing us who He is, would really care HOW WE CALL HIM or WHAT SHAPE WE GIVE HIM in our minds, prayers etc....

He can't care about these trivial things because He must be intelligent to know that wether a christian prays to "Our Father In Heaven" a Vaisnava prays to Krsna, that they all pray to Him anyway! Even if he doesn,t really look like that, or if these are not His real name.

By J on Friday, March 22, 2002 - 08:43 pm:

gods mums a nice woman named josh.
died of gingivitis.
very sad.

i think its quite arrogant of humans to think 'god' is a he, or even a who. How silly we all are.
just accept that everything is existing at this moment, and be happy.