The first time it was "Ketchup packets are not toys and I won't squeeze them off at girls" which really wasn't fair because I was trying to hit my friend sitting across from me, but when I pounded on the ketchup packet it shot backwards instead of forward and hit a girl right in the back of her white shirt.

The second time was "I will not make obscene gestures to teachers". Honestly, how is flipping a recess monitor The Bird and then sticking the upraised middle finger up your nose obsene? It started off at 50, got doubled to a 100 because I was being smart, then got doubled again to 200 because I laughed at being told I had to do 100. Facists.

By indigo on Saturday, March 31, 2001 - 05:00 pm:

Okay, to set the scene, I'm about 11 years old and sat in a classroom on the hottest day of the year. This really dumb supply teacher made us sit boy girl boy girl in alphabetical order and I ended up sitting in a corner next to the worlds most annoying little boy, who used to pinch me and spit all over the floor. After lunch, he threw yoghurt at me and burped in my face. Even when I was 11 I wasn't known for my patience, and I stabbed him in the leg with a pencil. When my friend finally told the teacher why this boy was screaming his head off, she decided that a suitable punishment would be to make me write "I will not attack people at school" 100 times on a sheet of paper. When i complained that the boy got no punishment, she changed my lines to "I will never attack people at school, even if provoked, and i will not speak back to teachers". Of course, this took much longer to write, so I wrote 3 or so lines, then walked out of school and went home. I then made my mum phone the school and lodge an official complaint of sexual discrimination, and I got the supply teacher blacklisted. Ha!

right, tale of vindictiveness and psychological dysfunction is over.

By ZACH+---- on Sunday, April 1, 2001 - 06:34 am:

First off-teachers fear me!
secondly- when i was 10 or 11 i walk to close to this thing out side my school called a "butterfly garden" (stupid if you ask me, so i had to write "i Zachary J. Draper will never walk in the beautiful Hilton Elementary School Butterfly Garden ever again, it is a home for butterfly's not little boys." 150 times...i tell you know lie. i was pissed
Thirdly- Earlier this year in health class we had a substitute teacher who was a very very practicing reverend who kept lecturing us on Jesus and his light or something similar... i however completely support this thing we have in America called the "Bill of Rights" especially the little clause we call the 1st Amendment so i asked him to please stop lecturing us on Jesus ... he proceeded to call me an instrument of Satan, said i probably do drugs have extramarital sex and lie and bah bah blah blah blah.. well to make a long story short he is still a reverend and no longer a substitute teacher... i got a call from my principle begging me to forgive her and the school system for hiring a religious fanatic ... it was loads of fun!

By Wateva on Sunday, April 1, 2001 - 08:44 am:

I've never had to do anything that bad, but then 'cos I didn't read these chapters in the book, the teacher made me copy the whole of the 'A' section in the big thick dictionary.
I just wonder, those teachers don't have anything better to do than to ask us to waste our resources in copying such information.
I also don't get some people are actually hird as substitute teachers 'cos they don't do anything. No, honestly, they have nothing to do with the subject they're there for, and in the end they ask you to do something that is totally stupid.
One time in Religious Studies we had this old lady as a supply. She wore these high heels, and now, the only thing I'd wish is for her to have tripped on them. We had no set work and the whole class was up to date with all the work. So we asked whether or not we could do some homework from other subjects. However, she did not let us, and instead asked us to write some stuff on the 'differences between euthanasia and abortion.'
However, we were rather strong i our own voice and some girl lied about us having already done that, and luckily we ended up not having to do that, but instead do some homework.
It's always fun to have substitutes for P.E. lessons, 'cos you can just take over the game and it's more like a game rather than the normal lesson type of thing.
Anyway, those of you who hadn't had hthe pleasure of enjoying the company, of supply teachers, I pity you. Actually, some supply teachers seem to think that year tens are still 'children'. That's what I remember being called. Some supply teachers are so unproffesional. I would be able to spend my time better without them. They just sort of sit around ordering people to do things.

By TobyZ on Sunday, April 1, 2001 - 09:40 am:

I had a Nazi German teacher who probably thought I was an instrument of Satan, though he's only my motor.

One day she tried to get the class to stand up and do the Hokey Pokey in German. Most people started doing it half heartedly and a few of us flat out refused. So she made a deal with us. If we came in the next day with the whole song written out in German, we didn't have to stand up and perform.

Of course everybody says they're gonna do the writing. But then you get home and realize that the song keeps building on itself. I ended up filling like 9 pages. Took for fuckin' ever, but I'm the stubborn sort.

The next day in class, of course nobody else did the writing. She was just about to start leading the group in song, when she noticed me sitting. She said, "Toby, please stand up and join us." I got the biggest smile ever on my face and said, "Sorry, I don't think so. I've got this.", and I handed her the pile. Oh! the look of hatred she gave me.

She then dragged me out into the hall to give me a stern talking to, but I was smiling and smirking so much that she gave up halfway through. She then gave me a blank hall pass and said "Get your stuff and go. I don't want you in my class today. I don't care where you go, just go."

So I went to the computer room and played the old old old Oregon Trail. Ha!

By Wateva on Sunday, April 1, 2001 - 09:46 am:

I have the idea that your teacher was suffering from some sort of mental distress. I want to see that woman some day.

By indigo on Sunday, April 1, 2001 - 10:10 am:

Oh my God! German teachers! I'd forgotten! (or possibly blocked it out, its a painful memory). Sadistic bitches! We had this nutter called Frau Alexander, who used to make us sing songs in German as well, and we had to do the actions. To make this even more embarrassing (and remember, I was 14), the door to the classroom didn't shut, and all the 6th formers with free periods would stand outside the door pissing themselves, while Fr. Alexander was cheerily dancing her way through "Der Bayerisch March" or "Der ist keine bier auf Hawai". And then she made us write the lyrics out anyway! I think she has actually had a mental breakdown of some sort, she hasnt been in school for 6 months. the last time I saw her was my LAST EVER GERMAN LESSON (god that made me happy!) when i walked out the door and patted her on the head as I went out. ha ha! Actually, shes probably committed suicide or something, so I shouldn't really be such a bitch... hey, nobodys guessed my name yet, so i'm an anonymous bitch.

By Wateva on Sunday, April 1, 2001 - 10:28 am:

We had to sing a French song to help us learn the days of the week, and funnily enough I always think of it when I can'tr remember the days of the week. We had a really nice French teacher though. She was really friendly and then we had some crap teachers who made us learn like 20 words per week.

Good he left and then we had a French teacher who made us watch porn videos. Every time on Fridays, he would put on this French video, and it always had these shots of naked women.. I started to have this feeling that my French teacher was some sort of pervert had this enjoyment of making his students watch porn.

By Maudlin Histaulin on Sunday, April 1, 2001 - 02:08 pm:

TobyZed, your German teacher cannot possibly have really been a Nazi, unless you're a great deal older then the average Coper.

To refer to a German teacher you did not like as a Nazi does a great dis-service to all those who were victimized by the real Nazi's. Is that a tattoo on your wrist or are you just pleased with that stamp you got at the door of your local Brazilian night-club?
Touché, my friend.

By stereopop on Sunday, April 1, 2001 - 02:45 pm:

Zach, you are an instrument of Satan though.

By ZACH+--- on Sunday, April 1, 2001 - 06:55 pm:

For Tobyz-----"She then dragged me out into the hall to give me a stern talking to, but I was smiling and smirking so much that she gave up halfway through. She then gave me a blank hall pass and said "Get your stuff and go. I don't want you in my class today. I don't care where you go, just go."
My german teacher has done this to me aswell!

You have not lived err died untill you have heard Frau Egar sing silent night... the world stops, evrything goes black, and you weep... yes my friends it's really that bad... ask amanda.. i think she has heard it too.

By TobyZ on Sunday, April 1, 2001 - 09:45 pm:

PS - Just a friendly warning Maudlin, you don't want the coping Brazillians on your ass. Trust me.

And just because the third reich was 50 years ago, does not mean they are not secretly planning the fourth reich by getting nazi german teachers spread out into the school system today. That's they're plan, to build from the ground up with a new Hitler Youth. At an appointed time all hell is gonna break loose, mark my words.

By ZACH+---- on Sunday, April 1, 2001 - 10:28 pm:

Frau Egar is to stupid to understand the concept of a Fourth Reich

By alex on Sunday, April 1, 2001 - 11:52 pm:

there's an Algerian teacher at my school....all though he has'nt quite picked up the English language just yet, however when he does, surely he'll begin some kind of OAS rebellion in the US, I'm sure of it!
(for those of you unaware of the OAS, your stupid!)

By ZACH+---- on Sunday, April 1, 2001 - 11:59 pm:

We have a teacher from trenedad (an he be a good techa don ya no) as well as a teacher from Lebemnon who says test tube really in a funny way...

By alex on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 12:22 am:

Lebemnon?

By TobyZ on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 12:37 pm:

"Lebemnon" LOL! That's fucking priceless.