Zach and I were on the verge of death last night. It was quite scary and it involved an axe-murderer, the Colonial Parkway, a rabbit, and the Revolutionary War.

We left his house at about 8 to go see my friend play at a coffeehouse. We went, talked to some of my old friends for a while and then decided that the whole deal was boring, so we left.

This is where I cut to a little Virginia history so the rest of my story will make a little sense:
The Colonial Parkway was built during the Great Depression by FDR to symbolize the beginning to the end of the colonial period: the first successful British colony in America (Jamestown), the first British capital in Virginia(Williamsburg), and lastly the battlefields in which the final battle of the Revolutionary War was fought (Yorktown). Now, this Parkway runs through the forest next to the James River and the only 3 exits off it are when you get to each city on the route. There's an unspoken rule that you do not, under any circumstances, drive on the Colonial Parkway at night. Over the past decade, I suppose, there have been all these serial murders at night on it (commited by a guy who drives a cop car), so it takes some nerve to go on there at night, not to mention, it's just really scary. To get to the Yorktown entrance to it, you have to go on the Battlefield Roads, which, according to local legend, is one of the most haunted areas in Virginia. Anyway ... moving on.

So, I made the turn onto the first Battlefield Road. AND THERE WAS A RABBIT RUNNING DOWN THE ROAD!!! Oh, wait, that's not the dramatic part ... So, being as I was about freak out, I trying to drive over it, but not run it over. It was scary. If I did manage to miss it, then at least that's one less ghost for the battlefields ...

I finally worked up the nerve to go to the entrance to the Parkway. We were only on it for about 15 minutes before we turned around, but we were screaming the whole time. I am glad that we are both still alive. And if my parents ever find out I did that, they'd kill me. So, we were about to exit off the Parkway, AND THERE CAME A COP CAR!!! AHHH!! It was so scary!! I thought I was going to die!! Ack! (Notice that I don't really care whether or not Zach dies.)

So, last night was scary. This is my point: Don't drive on the Colonial Parkway at night.

By Friendly Neighbourhood Spiderman on Sunday, March 25, 2001 - 10:42 pm:

I was driving a cop car on the colonial Parkway last night.

By zach on Sunday, March 25, 2001 - 10:56 pm:

I love you to Amanda!... i swore to myself i would never drive that road at night ... and i did ... oh my! i was completely freaked ... but i felt a little better knowing the secret behind why the killings stopped (and no it's not because i committed them ... as it turns out i know a cop in Not Carolina.. he let myself and my ass hole father in on a little secret i will now share with all of you...
The story begins on a lonely North Carolina Road.. the characters are our ever true serial killer and a guy walking down the road... OK so here knife boy is driving down the road in some fog when OH NO!!! he hears a load thug hit his car ... it is "man on the road" shit says knife boy. i killed this guy and it doesn't fit my physiological profile, better scram so off he drives bloody bumper and all ... the dumb ass takes his car (blood and all) to a garage to get fixed ... mechanic calls my cop friend.. cop friend comes to arrest knife boy, knife boy goes to prison for vehicular man slaughter, in prison they learn his philological profile fits that of the serial killer in Williams burg Virginia (all the killings have stopped since he has been in prison ... people (like other cops) get suspicious but they cant prove it ... well anyway he is only in prison for vehicular man slaughter so he doesn't get life actually she only gets 4 years ... ha he gets out in like 3 months!!!
so why I'm i one of the few who know this... (this is the best part) all the newspapers are being paid of (including the cops) because knife boys daddy is a prominent politician here in America!!! ah how i wish i knew who he was... oh well great story huh?

By TobyZ on Monday, March 26, 2001 - 01:49 pm:

Mandy, it's good to know you had a big strong guy along to protect you on your adventure. lol

Oh, I forgot, We're s'posed to be nice to the poor cancer patient aren't we?

Say something nice. . . say something nice. . . I've got it.

Maybe his "screaming the whole time" was very offputting to the would-be serial killers and they left you alone!

By alex on Monday, March 26, 2001 - 06:05 pm:

lovely story, but I must tell you something, I was that individual struck by the killers car that fatful night on the Colonial Parkway!

By stereopop on Monday, March 26, 2001 - 09:24 pm:

He doesn't hit people. He guts them and then slices them up ... Jack the Ripper style. Mmm ...

By zach on Monday, March 26, 2001 - 10:18 pm:

I only screamed cause it made amanda feel better... it's tough being the only scared one... i need to help her throug her fear

By stereopop on Monday, March 26, 2001 - 10:19 pm:

Whatever ... you were crying like a little schoolgirl!

By shellie on Monday, March 26, 2001 - 10:36 pm:

i don't understand what your talking about. can someone explain hehe

By TobyZ on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 12:24 am:

Shellie dear, You can't understand what who is talking about?

And mandy, without being mean to the little crippled keyboard toter I think it's an insult to schoolgirls everywhere to have to be compared to zach.

By TobyZ on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 12:28 am:

And at first I thought the most disturbing thing about your Post was that: You tried to avoid killing a rabbit by running it over! Bastardian Logic indeed.

Now I find it disturbing that you think the idea of Jack the Ripper cutting and gutting people is "mmm" good.

By stereopop on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 01:05 am:

Toby, you're just upset that it wasn't you in my car screaming your fool head off. In fact, Zach, you are the only guy who can say you've sat in my car screaming. Go Zach! Now you can strut around feeling cooler than the rest of the guys on Coping (even though you aren't. You and I will continue this conversation later ... he's not an ass, Zachary).

And the bunny ... I didn't run it over. I'm not that evil. If were to kill a bunny, I'd want to gut it and slic -- er, whoops. I wouldn't kill a bunny.

By TobyZ on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 01:49 am:

I AM jealous.

I'm jealous of zach. . . I'm going somewhere quiet to cry.

By zach on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 02:39 am:

First off... i never called tobyz and ass... i called your other little friend an ass... you know the one...

By zach on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 02:42 am:

For that matter I have never called anyone on coping an ass!!!! You are all OK in my book! Even if you do all think I am a cancerous 500 lb vegetable with a keyboard.

By ZACH+------> on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 03:17 am:

"And Mandy, without being mean to the little crippled keyboard toter I think it's an insult to schoolgirls everywhere to have to be compared to Zach".... this was a mean comment, was it not? i feel that if ever i were to somehow possibly at any time in the future possibly want to by any chance uhhh act like a schoolgirl (or even scream like one) then school girls everywhere should soil themselves with excitement to have me on board their little schoolgirl band wagon...
And i will have you all know that i am not a coward! It is just more fun to get yourself all worked up then scream ... otherwise we could just stayed at the coffee shop. I happen to be a very brave man indeed.. I have fought for my lady's honor and won... I will also have you know that I am afraid of nothing (except, mountains, diseases, crowds, hights, SERIAL KILLERS, wild animals and slip knot {eww}). I feel Toby owes me a big "I'M SORRY" for being undeservingly hard on me.
And from now on I am typing my name in caps with a neat little sword by it (+---- ) to show my strength and courage!!!!

By TobyZ on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 05:00 am:

Could he be any cuter!?!

I wouldn't be surprised if the next time I bought a box of Cracker Jacks zach +---- was the prize inside instead of a book of temporary tatoos or a plastic whistle.

By Scamp. on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 12:18 pm:

As a taxpayer and a guy, I would rather stick needles in my eyes then be in Miss "FIGJAM" alias Stereopop's car.

By The Occifer on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 02:36 pm:

Hey, it's the one and only Scamp himself! This calls for nothing less than a taranta of trumpets, thank you Mr Music. (Just like the first trumpet riff in The National Anthem on Kid A, I would reckon) Hello Scamp.

By Hot, Fresh Soup on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 06:10 pm:

The cheekiest scamps of them all, yes those five freshfaced hooligans "with baseball caps on their heads and mischief on their minds" ~ EMF, that's right, EMF!!!11 ~ are reforming. Now, is that not something to give thanx for?

By alex on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 09:02 pm:

I dont know, I'd potentially "mmm" at Jack The Ripper style shreding. But I'm not sick! I'd never kill a bunny!! Wierdo, its just that reson I refused to join your club.

By ZACH+-------- on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 11:00 pm:

Has another fan club been started? this is all too much

By alex on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 11:30 pm:

no, I'm talking about stereopops
Since everyone seems to pretty much hate you(which I have slight contempt for you) I believe I'll start a Zach Fan Club

By TobyZ on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 11:59 pm:

lol

By stereopop? on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 12:44 am:

What does "FIGJAM" stand for?

By Scamp on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 01:17 am:

Fuck I'm Great Just Ask Me. But I don't really know you Stereopop. I was just in a shitty mood when I wrote that message.
And a heavy nod to The Occifer person too.

By ZACH+---- on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 02:25 am:

Everyone hates me?
Very sad now.

I will be very lonely in my fan club :*(

By ZACH+----- on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 02:27 am:

Blow Blow me out i am so sad i dont know why (i am so hated)

By stereopop on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 02:45 am:

I still don't hate you!!! : )