Seeing as I have a dire lack of bohemian friends willing to move about at the drop of a hatpin, I have had to place the spare room of my apartment on the dreaded "open market." Yes, you heard correctly, due to insufficient monetry funds in my bank account, I need a NEW FLATMATE (or "roomie" for you Americans, except we don't share the same room, just an apartment.) Anyone interested?

Just today I decided that I'd rather have a fellow university student move in with me, so I started advertising around my campus. I printed out these big, bold, beaut flyers with all my information and half-hearted promises, and stuck them all over the place. As the day went on I slunk around checking out the progress of the little tag things stuck to the bottom. I was gratified to see that on most flyers at least 2 or 3 tags (with my phone number and name) had been taken by somebody. BUT...

I decided to perform a little experiment. Eight of my flyers fitted the aforementioned description - fairly mundane, embarrassing and routine little advertising posters. But one, the experimental one, was completely different. Just for "shits and giggles", as one notable Moral Crusader might say, I printed out something like the following:

"One damn hot, sexy guy looking for a spunky, nubile, shit-hot-smokin' sheila to share an inner city apartment. Rent is negotiable. Must be open to casual, indiscriminate sex and give great head. Two house rules apply - 1. Anything more than underwear is over-dressing babez, and 2. If you bring someone home you must be expecting a threesome with me, get it???!!!1. Give us a call, luvs, for a time you wont fucking regret. I rock and roll all night and party everyday!!!!1. Quintal (insert phone number here)"

Now, this was just a silly little social experiment... BUT! When I went back to check this particular flyer later in the day, ALL OF THE TAGS WERE GONE! That's right, you heard correctly. ALL TEN OF THE TAGS WERE GONE!

Ahem. Now, what conclusions could I draw from my little social experiment? I very much hoped that 10 individual girls had taken the tags, though the thought of one PARTICULARLY spunky, nubile, shit-hot-smokin' sheila taking ALL of the tags (so that no other spunky, nubile, shit-hot-smokin' sheilas could get so much as a look in) is also rather amusing (I nearly wrote "appealing" but checked myself at the last minute.)

I now await phone calls and an interesting interviewing period...hur hur hur.

By evil_eye on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 05:27 pm:

hmm...mmmkay.
so sheila is referring to the female sex then?
maybe you should advertise it as a 'shag pad' with uncomplicated shallow fun...yay!!!!!!!!!

By 'stereopop' on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 06:59 pm:

lmao. This topic rox!

By TobyZ on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 07:27 pm:

Not being a computer geek, I don't know what "Imao" means, but I'm sorely disappointed to see you use the word "rox".

I'm rethinking my admission to the Steropop Club.

By ZACH+----- on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 11:05 pm:

Yes... i agree with tobyz... IMAO? what the hell? and rox... well thats just wrong

By the one and only stereopop on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 12:31 am:

Yeah. I believe I've already explained that I never use "lmao" or "rox" ... I respect the English language a bit more than that.

By Quintal Hunter on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 04:50 am:

ATTENTION Si and/or Jamie: Would you be so kind as to delete this topic from the message board? I'd be muchly appreciative, oh yes.

By evil_eye on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 06:49 pm:

lmao (i'm ashamed to admit) is laughng my arse off
which is a strange thing in itself!

By Si on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 09:30 pm:

And why should I be doing that? I want a 4 page report, signed in triplicate. For starters.

By Fried~Butter. on Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 07:10 am:

That was highly amusing. So did the Occifer person get lots of nubile wenches on his doorstep, or at least phoning up? I just bet he did.

By The Occifer on Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 07:12 am:

Well then, you win your bet. I also got a transvestite. I still have yet to decide on who is moving in, but I am favouring a girl called Camilla at the moment. She saw the 'straight' adverisement.

By The Sexual Athlete on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:06 am:

Give me a ring-a-ding-ding on my funky mobile, yeah. [01 4993 3002] I'm, like, interested.

By evil_eye on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 06:12 pm:

a ring a ding ding?....thats just asking for insults

By The Sexual Athlete on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 03:20 pm:

Well go on, give me a bollocking... Come on, out with it!

By Guts on Friday, June 1, 2001 - 10:06 am:

FOC