SHARON

Mum said don’t use too much hot –

SHARON stops dead in her tracks once she looks in and sees GAVIN masturbating with a big smile on his face, in front of the mirror. SHARON is plainly aggrieved.

SHARON

And what the fuck are you doing? You're looking at yourself in the mirror. You're fucking yourself, arent you? You bastard.

SHARON slams the door and leaves GAVIN looking sheepish on his lonesome. He puts a white towel around himself and follows her out the door. His half-nelson bulges indiscretely through the towel.

SHARON is in her room, sitting on the bed, her head in her hands.

GAVIN

Come on Sharon, we all do it sometimes.

SHARON

Yeah but not when someone else desperately wants you at exactly that same minute. You're a bastard. Fucking yourself, I don't know... You're Narcissus. No, you're worse.

GAVIN walks over to her bed, and starts removing his towel. He seems reluctant, but willing to make a sacrifice just this once.

GAVIN

Look, if you really want me too, I mean if you really wanted me to, I suppose I could…

SHARON looks up at GAVIN.

SHARON

What, do you think I’m stupid or something? You’d just be thinking about yourself as you screwed me. You’d be closing your eyes and thinking of yourself.

GAVIN seems surprised to be rejected. He gives a humph.

GAVIN

And I thought you wanted me…

SHARON

Yeah, I did. But only if you wanted me too. And I thought you did. I mean, what’s your problem, arsehole? I’m an attractive girl, aren’t I? Yeah, I am. Actually I’m quite, very attractive. Far better than average. Way better than average.

GAVIN

Yeah, ok, whatever.

SHARON’S rage only seems to grow.

SHARON

You don’t know what you missed out on. You don’t have a fucking clue.

GAVIN takes issue with this last statement. His focus returns to SHARON, who’s sitting on her bed, a cross-legged ball of misery.

GAVIN

What are you saying? I don’t know what I missed out on? You think I’m a virgin or something?

SHARON

No, but I’m different to other girls. It’s just the way it is. The fucking way it is!

GAVIN

You're really in dire need of an attitude readjustment, arent you...

SHARON looks up and directly at GAVIN, who's smirking and shaking his head. Her anger has peaked. She shouts at him, louder than ever before, each word laced with vitriol, especially the last.

SHARON

Heaps of guys want to fuck me, you know! Heaps!

SC.75 INT MAIN HOUSE DAY

Sharon's mother, BEV, is leaning against SHARON’S door, eavesdropping on the loud conversation between SHARON and GAVIN.

SC.76 INT SHARON’S ROOM DAY

GAVIN is leering over SHARON.

GAVIN

You think you’re so special, don’t you. Come on then, who wants to fuck you?

SHARON

What?

GAVIN

Names please.

SHARON

What the fuck? Heaps of guys.

GAVIN

Give me names then. I’ll tell you if they want to fuck you or not.

SHARON

God, you’re such an arsehole.

GAVIN now demands the names from SHARON.

GAVIN

Names.

SHARON sits still for a second, before taking a breath and gaining confidence, then proceeding.

SHARON

OK. Michael.

GAVIN

Michael who?

SHARON

Michael Gretzky. And Paul Longfellow. Venny Stuart. There’s heaps.

GAVIN opens SHARON’S personal phone number book, and opens the file at G.
GAVIN picks up SHARON’S yellow phone and quickly dials a number.

SHARON looks on in concerned wonderment at what GAVIN is up to.

GAVIN speaks into the phone.

GAVIN

Hi Michael. I was just wondering if you wanted to fuck Sharon? Oh really? How very interesting! Goodbye.

GAVIN hangs up the phone and addresses SHARON.

GAVIN

Hey Sharon, Michael says he doesn’t want to fuck you.

SHARON looks confused.

GAVIN

Who else was it? Paul Longfellow?

SHARON sits on her bed, looking at GAVIN like he is a madman, and a mean madman at that.

GAVIN dials a number. He waits a few seconds then speaks into the phone.

GAVIN

Hi Paul, Gavin here. Tell me, do you want to fuck Sharon? Oh is that right? That’s all I wanted to know, goodbye.

GAVIN hangs up the phone and turns to SHARON.

GAVIN

Paul doesn’t want to fuck you either.

SHARON

Bullshit. He does so.

GAVIN derives great pleasure out of correcting SHARON.

GAVIN

Nup!

SHARON stands up.

SHARON

That’s it, get out.

SHARON gesticulates wildly, demanding that GAVIN leave the house. When he doesnt move, she starts to physically push GAVIN out of her room.

SHARON

Get out! Get out! Go on, get out and don’t come back. Get out!

GAVIN doesn’t resist, but SHARON decides to continue helping him on his way anyway. He gets violently pushed into the door by SHARON, then he opens it hastily before getting pushed by SHARON again. He gets knocked off his feet, falling though the doorway. BEV, the eavesdropper, gets collected by the falling GAVIN and collapses backwards as well.

SHARON stands over the top of both of them.

SHARON

Get your stuff and go. Don’t come back.

By Scamp on Thursday, March 14, 2002 - 04:07 pm:

Christ, I hope that scene wasn't drawn from life, Quintal! Very funny though. The SHARON character mentioning Narcissus was quite Woody Allenesque. But when GAVIN is ringing up the blokes asking if they want to fuck her and they're all saying "No,", wouldn't SHARON think to reply, "Well of course these guys will tell YOU they don't wanna fuck me! You might be 6 foot 6, built like a BRICK SHITHOUSE and my boyfriend!" or something similar? Or is she meant to be too dim to think of that?
I just know if I saw that scene played out in a movie, I'd find that bit frustrating.
No offense, the whole scene was really well written and vivid in my mind as I was reading.

By Fried~Butter on Sunday, March 17, 2002 - 08:53 am:

It's like "Triumph of the Will": a great movie, you just despise the ideas behind it.

By Voyeur! on Sunday, March 17, 2002 - 12:17 pm:

Inspired by real life? No way, I'd always be more than keen on someone named SHARON! Take sexprincesssharon16fusa, for instance. My computer print out of her photo kept me delightfully warm on many a cold, wintery night.
Anyhow, you're right with your criticisms, Scamp. Danke.

PEOPLE SHOULD GET BEAT UP FOR STATING THEIR BELIEFS is the motif on a white teeshirt of mine. I had it made especially.