You are a disfunctional pie eating banana shagging pimper with the IQ of a dogs right bollock, you are about as funny as piles in your gums and you have the wit of a constipated lab rat. Your mum is a hooker and your step dad is a pimp, you where abused as a child and as such feel it necessary to fist your dog, why dont you do us all a favour and stick your cock in a mangle, you feret faced piece of penile tissue. I hope I wasn't too offensive toward you lard head.

By Anonymouses of the World on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 04:56 pm:

Well I never.

By ANONYMOUS PR PEOPLE on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 08:39 pm:

DON'T BELIEVE THE LIES!

VOTE INDEPENDENT!

VOTE ANONYMOUS NOW!

By Elvis {the real king} on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 08:56 pm:

Anonymous, you ain't nothin' but a hound dog.

Thankyouverymuch

By BB King on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 09:22 pm:

shut up elvis

By Elvis Costello on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 10:20 pm:

Eh?

By Sarki on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 10:46 pm:

Yeah, piss off Costello! you're king of the geeks! ho ho ho.
Whereas I'm king of the cool people, of coping and blurchat ;o)

By Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 11:13 pm:

Yeah!

By ANONYMOUS PR PEOPLE on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 11:20 pm:

[Vote anonymous now!]

By Sponsors on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 11:58 pm:

http://www.burgerking.com/WhatsHot/bbking/bbking.html

By yay on Wednesday, May 22, 2002 - 01:27 am:

i love the lampoon

By Alan Sarki on Wednesday, May 22, 2002 - 07:42 pm:

By Alan Rickman on Friday, May 24, 2002 - 04:15 pm:

Nice crown, AS. Pity you're going to have to give it up when you come last! Ho ho ho.
ANY SARKI IS A BAD SARKI, I say. Nice head you've got on your shoulders though.

By The legendary SARKI on Friday, May 24, 2002 - 07:16 pm:

I never imagined Alan Rickman could be so fucking ugly! fuckin hell! What film did he star in? One featuring E.T's deformed grandfather? He looks like a fucking horse with that long face!
Rickman, you will never be king. I will always be king because I say so! It wont be long before you begin worshiping me with the rest of these peasants! I am legendary! I will never be forgotten even if I am rumoured to be leaving Coping to take on the Atease Empire shortly.
Just don't give up hope Rickman, you're puny efforts to match me are cruelly ammusing, ho ho ho!

By Sarki the Great on Friday, May 24, 2002 - 08:06 pm:

Which Rickman is this btw? I am led to believe there are two, of which both appear to be adolescent little schoolboys. This makes it all very confusing!
And who they hell is this Alan Sarki!!!? Listen wanker! there's only one sarki! Are you trying to declare yourself as some happy medium?
Fuck off!
you are a blatent Sarki wannabe rip-off! and you've got an ugly face! like a fucking horse! ho ho ho, do one loser!

By ANONYMOUS PR PEOPLE on Monday, May 27, 2002 - 08:56 pm:

[Does this face look like it could lie? NEVER! ANONYMOUS FOREVER!]

By Andrew W.K. on Wednesday, May 29, 2002 - 02:32 pm:

LET'S GET A PARTY GOIN'!

By Thomas Williams Impostor on Wednesday, May 29, 2002 - 02:35 pm:

Yeah!

By [Vote Anonymous Now!] on Friday, May 31, 2002 - 02:56 am:

well done lampoon!

By Dave Hedgehog on Friday, May 31, 2002 - 08:22 pm:

I voted for whats his name

By Anonymous on Saturday, June 1, 2002 - 11:47 am:

hey wwaasss uuppp dudes and dudettes!!!

By Anonymous on Saturday, June 1, 2002 - 11:51 am:

gosh is Sarki King----what again!!!

By Anonymous on Saturday, June 1, 2002 - 12:01 pm:

FCUK HEY A DUCK

By Andrew W.K. on Saturday, June 1, 2002 - 12:51 pm:

LET'S GET A PARTY GOIN'!

By Anonymous on Saturday, June 1, 2002 - 01:31 pm:

andrew w.k.yea let get down and party:0)