Oops! Musn't say International. Dirty word! Filthy word! His Majesty! Die Fuhrer! Il Duce!

By Ikras on Sunday, May 19, 2002 - 01:01 am:

What?

By Lazslo de Almasy on Sunday, May 19, 2002 - 01:50 am:

Oops! Musn't say International. Dirty word! Filthy word! His Majesty! Die Fuhrer! Il Duce!

By Dante on Sunday, May 19, 2002 - 02:04 am:

I don't understand

By Lazslo de Almasy on Sunday, May 19, 2002 - 03:42 am:

We'll bathe at Brighton, the fish you'll frighten when you're in - your bathing suit so thin, will make the shellfish grin, fin to fin!

By Madox on Sunday, May 19, 2002 - 03:44 am:

Look, either shut up or go home. You're completely plastered! Now sit down.

By Lazslo de Almasy on Sunday, May 19, 2002 - 03:46 am:

Absolutely right, shut up, shut up. Sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't think what came over me. Lashings of apologies - all around.

By Katharine Clifton on Sunday, May 19, 2002 - 04:03 am:

Do you think you are the only one who feels anything?

By Geoffrey Clifton on Sunday, May 19, 2002 - 04:07 am:

How are you my little sausage?

By Kip on Sunday, May 19, 2002 - 10:28 am:

This is making me incredibly angry.

By The Clifton Scribblers Circle, funded by the millenium awards scheme, is looking for new members on Sunday, May 19, 2002 - 11:29 pm:

Oh deary me, what do? Thumbing a lift for a magic tractor's alright, but now it's raining bontempi organs and leftbrain's sleeping under the friggin' Duran Duran board game.
Bill Jewitt began carefully crafting coffins aged just 15 years. "It was quite a fire" he said.

By The Nominator on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 10:10 am:

Pooh! A beetle hits a new right or left turn into the gas station and another one on the top of the raft giving hairy people a good long scrub. Bugger, oh bugger me.

In the lobby with a glass vase hanging on the butcher pool of cordial in a bowl, Kim Doddler talks about the yellow fish and the red dolphin in the big tank in the foyer. She insists that it walks along the grey plaster of the rich and lazy pig-pen.

Something plunged below the circus of fools. Another and moreover, the yonder hath wanderest in the hay with a fork and ladle, tapping on a quick xylophone. The horrors! The sweet paradise of butts. Man and seahorse come together in the great fad of the commerical underworld.

Nothing can stay abridged. Not even the dumplings.

By Singer Collins in tense tutu drama! on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 12:04 pm:

Terry is likely to be winched onto a large vessel by marine salvage experts from the spot where he hit the water six days ago. The rescue has been hampered recently because of an eccles cake/stotties shortage in Stoke-on-Trent.

Come the revolution, hairy Danes will have to carry three.

By Bottomless on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 12:19 pm:

Mark's a taxi driver which means he knows everything. People stand and take his words like logs in a big pot of spaghetti. He calls for a night to remember. "Let's do it!", he shouts. "The defenseless person is said to be a sitting mule, or is that a peacock?" The polka dotted fairy shakes her head. Nobody knows where your finance will spoon out its butter. Everyone knows how your foot will release your secret.

"Let's get the party started!" whispered Laura. And so they ate their potties.

By Is Dre really a qualified physician? on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 03:42 pm:

Limeade at 19p reminded Quentin Herringbone of xmas '86. There was a preponderance of dainty alligators with saveloys in their lapels that magnificent yule. It would bring a tear to his eye whilst on the flight from Nagasaki airport, and caused him to be rambuctious with Leuitenant Chin.

By Kirpal Singh on Tuesday, May 21, 2002 - 05:57 am:

Have either of you tried condensed milk sandwiches?

By Breaking news: 10:00pm, 4th May 2020 on Friday, May 31, 2002 - 04:02 pm:

Flaming turds lashed down on a Temptations concert given for luggy King Charles last wednesday. The 60's hitmakers were re-formed from DNA scraped out of a fancy-dan pepperpot.
They were due to perform for the old cunt as part of dead important celebrations marking this and that, amongst other stuff.

By Dave Hedgehog on Friday, May 31, 2002 - 08:16 pm:

My mum never hugged me.

By Hat Stand on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 09:36 pm:

Ted Hanks loves the complicated things in life such as fumbling politeness and 70's wallpaper. He is 44 and keeps tadpoles for company. He enjoys going to the cinema, playing bridge, collecting magnets and listening to old kid jensen tapes. Divorced twice, he keeps himself to himself.

Ted Hanks is you and me. Thanks for listening.

By A.R. on Tuesday, June 11, 2002 - 05:46 am:

My pleasure. I rather enjoyed it.

By Lord Prendergrast III, Duke of Sarkshire on Thursday, June 13, 2002 - 03:14 pm:

A very old friend came by today!
" Who was it?" I hear you cry.
"Mind your own fucking business" I retort sniffily

By walter softy on Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 03:46 pm:

tippie hedron of "the birds" fame?

By Gnasher on Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 03:47 pm:

steve bull, The late 80's Wolves striker?

By Roger the Dodger on Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 03:49 pm:

renowned recluse and podgy producer phil spector?